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Whoever has control must have responsibility. They belong together.


If you give your child control in a situation make sure:

1.  That the responsibility is spelled out
2.  That it is within their capability
3.  That  if they mess-up, they take responsibility

The Rule is, “Whoever has control must have responsibility"
For instance if your teenager is given the use of your car, they should take responsibility to clean it and have enough money in the bank to cover insurance shortfall.

This principle should also apply to the parent who has responsibility for the child. They must maintain the control over decisions. For example parents need to know where their teenagers are and who they are with when they go to a party or stay out overnight.

It should also apply to the school/ parent relationship. When a high school holds back information from the parents they have exercised control but have not shared responsibility.   If a school counsellor recommends that your high school-age daughter have an abortion without a parent knowing, this principle is violated. You may find yourself trying to work out why your teenager is weepy and depressed and find yourself responsible for the fallout from something you had no control over.

All of us need to realise we have control over the decisions we make.  When we make a poor decision we need to take responsibility, admit it and deal with the consequences.  In a similar way when we make good decisions we can celebrate them. 
Let’s make lots of good decisions.