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Three Things You Need to Know When Parenting Teenagers


Their frontal lobes of their brain are not fully formed. 

• So they assess risk haphazardly. 

• For their brain to fully mature, they need adults who will push them to link their choices with consequences 

They want respect

• So they need language such as, “ Does that sound fair?” Is that a deal? They need the “What if” questions and the opportunity to write their own rules, like keeping a curfew etc. 

• But they need adults who will set boundaries and give them street-smarts. (Good kids will often hang around when they should get out of the situation. Bad kids smell the trouble and leave.) 

They will become more self assured as they get older

• At 14 they are most oppositional and yet most insecure about their peers view of them. 

•  They think that the world has a telescope focused the wrong way on them. 

•  Need adults who are prepared to be the ‘big people’. 

•  Girls who get into trouble have Dads who were passive. It was as if they were pushing their Dads to see if they would fight for them.