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The 5 bad habits we Dads need to deal with:

20-Sep-2018

1. Getting Drunk.


The more time a dad spends with his kids, the more they grow, mature, and develop. Fathers who are drunk spend less time interacting with their children. At the very least, a drunk dad misses the opportunity of being a presence in their kids’ lives, which can stunt their growth. At worst, a drunk dad creates the trauma of insecurity and anxiety in the child because someone who is drunk isn’t functioning clearly. Drunk people tend to be unpredictable, unreliable, and often belligerent. Kids are not equipped to deal with that kind of situation, and shouldn’t have to.


2. Yelling.


It usually gets kids to do what you want. I know, I do it more than I like to admit. But it accomplishes the goal by fear and intimidation. Honestly, I am not opposed to the occasional raised voice to get their attention, but when it becomes the norm it’s a problem. It may be the easiest way to modify behavior (temporarily), but it creates a relational barrier and models no emotional control. That leads into the next point.


3. Overreacting.


It’s difficult to react calmly and say the right things at the end of a long and tiring day. Actually, sometimes it’s even difficult to do when you are well rested. However, whenever we overreact we lose credibility. When you are a dad you need to prepare your heart and mind to be the pillar of the family. You are permanently on-call to solve problems, make judgments, be a shoulder to cry on, and bear the weight of the family. So before you blow up or make meaningless claims like grounding someone for a year, take a moment to temper your emotions and your words. The more you do, the more you will be respected.


4. Disengaging.


We all need time alone to rest, refresh, and reboot. Do it and be intentional about recharging because your family needs your energy, wisdom, influence, and presence. They need your leadership. You have a choice: You can be a source of power or a vacuum. Rather than disappearing into the TV, your phone, or daydreaming, focus your attention on helping your kids and wife with their struggles and making them feel loved.


5. Porn.


Being a dad is stressful. It’s difficult to meet the demands of the family, but when you engage you are building character and the strength to rise to the challenge. Your shoulders become broader to handle the weight. Porn, on the other hand, makes all the stress go away, but only momentarily. It’s a distraction, an unhealthy coping mechanism that makes us weaker. Rather than dealing with reality and bolstering our grit and perseverance, porn is simply a temporary escape. The result is weakness, disconnection, and atrophy.