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Avoid Mood killers - set the tone


Take the initiative and create a positive mood.

Mood killers don’t just ruin a special moment; they hurt a marriage if they become ongoing patterns of behavior. Set the tone for intimacy with your spouse by offering words of kindness, appreciation and value.

The ‘untamed tongue’ mood killer:

Thoughtless, critical words said in anger or frustration can quickly destroy the mood or any expectation for intimacy. You can forget hopes of a romantic rendezvous if you think that is Ok to speak harshly or critically. Your spouse will respond positively or negatively even to the tone of your voice.

‘Only thing you want’ mood killer:

When one spouse does things for the other only to get something in return, the desire for intimacy from the other spouse quickly fades. Love is not a transaction, it is an action. If you only show interest in your wife when you want something sexually she will know and feel used.

Unnecessary distractions mood killer:

Sometimes the mood dies simply because you allow something completely unimportant or unrelated to intrude into the moment. Don’t make a business meeting out of the evening. Put away the to-do lists and problems to solve. Those issues will still be there later, but your opportunity for intimacy may not.